Are friends worth it?

Isn't it funny how loosely people use the word "friend" these days? It falls off their lips as easily as the lies they tell to get you to trust them. You tell them the most intimate details of your life - how you work, how you think, who you are - and when all is said and done, they use those things to cause you pain. They tell you that they love you...that they would die for you...that they got your back...that they want nothing but happiness for your life, and at the end of the day, all it is is words. The same person that told you they love you does something to you to make you question love in its entirety. The same person that told you that they would die for you hurts you so deeply that you consider death the easier option. The same person that tells you that they got your back is the same person that stabs you in it. that SAME "friend" that says that they want nothing but happiness for your life takes away that one thing in your life that they KNOW is your source of happiness.

So here is my question - is having friends worth it?

Is having a friend worth the pain? I mean, yes, in the moment, friends make you feel good. They make you feel loved and needed. But doesn't that all fade? Doesn't the love that you have for a friend just end up being your pathos? For your downfall does not come from baring your soul, but from whom you choose to bare it to.

Calling

Have you ever felt like you know what you were meant to do, but you don't know how to go about getting there? You know God's purpose for you - your "calling" if you will - you just aren't patient enough to allow Him to work it out in His time?

I'm at this point in my life. For years upon years, I know the Lord has been preparing me - trial after trial, chipping away at the callousness that the world has forced me to grow, healing the brokenness that it has caused, molding me into what I am to become. I'm not going to lie - I've spent a good amount of this time running, telling God I'm not good enough, to use someone else. For I am worth nothing. I'm not even worth the breath it takes to say my name. But for some reason, the Lord saw worth in me. I don't understand it, can't comprehend it, but I don't think I'm meant to. All that I know - all the Lord NEEDS me to know - is that He has something greater for me...greater than I can imagine, so great, in fact, that my finite mind cannot contain it.

Now here would be the irony - this entire time I've been running, I've known. I've known that I am meant for greater things, but my flesh was unwilling to yield, I was not able to grow. God was not given ample room to mold me, to continue His work in me. No matter how much I knew my "calling", I would never admit it. If I did, in my mind, that would take away from teh mystery that is ME. If I admit that I am called to be used, I almost feel like it negates my calling.

The Irony of Love

The greatest irony of love -
Loving the right person at the wrong time,
Having the wrong person when the time is right,
And finding out you love someone right after
That person walks out of your life...


And sometimes, you think you're already over a person
but when you see them smile at you,
You'll suddenly realize that you're just pretending
to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing that
they will never be yours again...

For some, they think that letting go is one way
of expressing how much they love that person...
In my opinion, some are afraid to see the one they love
being held by someone else...

Most relationships tend to fail not because of
the absence of love. Love is always present.
It's just that one was being loved too much and
the other was being loved too little...

All we know is that the heart
Is the center of the body
But it beats on the left.
Maybe that's the reason why the heart
is not always right...

Most often we fall in love with the person we think we love
but only to discover that for them
we are just for a passing time,
While the one who truly loves us
remains either a friend or a stranger...

So here's a piece of advice -
Let go when you're hurting too much.
Give up when love isn't enough.
And move on when things are not like before...

For there is someone out there
who will love you even more...